Any road to L

Earlier this month a new driving test procedure was introduced in the UK, involving an "Independent Driving" section. This intrigued me because it was something I suggested over a decade ago in a creative writing class as part of my MA. During the critique my idea was laughed at. Admittedly mine was somewhat more liberal because I suggested the driver should be allowed to follow a pre-agreed route for the duration with the examiner throwing in manoeuvres along the way - emergency stop, hill start, reverse park, etc - but ultimately this new measure has the same principle as mine, i.e. a better representation of what normal driving is about. For the vast majority of journeys it's simply a case of heading from A to B with no directions needed. Crucially, however, no two journeys are ever the same; there are always obstacles to overcome, whether it's correctly pulling to a stop to allow a driver to pass in the opposite direction, negotiating a busy junction or roundabout, or changing lanes in busy traffic at the right time. Obviously there's a case for testing a driver under pressure with a series of instructions but I would argue there's enough pressure as it is knowing an examiner is watching your every move, regardless of direction. We've all had to put up with 'backseat drivers' at some point...

All those close to me will know I'm not exactly a stranger to the driving test. I failed five times before finally passing late in 1995 after a month at uni.
The five failures were excruciating and sometimes humiliating; I made ridiculous errors I'd never make during lessons - driving at barely 40mph during a stretch where the national speed limit applied was probably the stupidest. I basically bottled it every time. The fifth test was the worst because during the hour beforehand I was absolutely perfect, so my instructor was speechless when the examiner gave him the sheet afterwards and told him I'd failed on four areas and picked up around 10 minor faults. Eventually the two of us analysed what was going wrong and came to the conclusion my mentality wasn't right; instead of doing what I'd do in a lesson naturally I was being overly mechanical and it seriously affected my co-ordination. Those tests were all in Northampton. We decided to make a new start and take the next one in nearby Wellingborough. This also coincided with my instructor buying a new car and it helped massively as it was much smoother, had power-steering and didn't make a screeching noise if you changed from third gear to second any speed remotely above 10mph. I breezed through test number six, picking up just three minor faults.

I miss driving. For a lot of people it's a very functional and often laborious process but I nearly always enjoyed it - mainly I think due to the tortures I described above and the fact I finally proved I could do it by myself. But after over a decade proving I could do it myself I unfortunately had to give up my licence a couple of years ago for health reasons. I actually miss bizarre situations like jumping into a car after being out in freezing weather and feeling the warmth of the heater driving off. I still remember an occasion when I drove all the way from Northampton to Southend to watch the mighty Shrimpers take on York in a mid-table fourth division evening clash. It finished 0-0 and was possibly the dullest game I've ever witnessed but in temperatures dropping to around zero, the two-hour drive home was oddly very enjoyable. There was very little traffic, I was cocooned in warmth and I had the radio for company.

Weird, isn't it? And you're probably not going to believe the next one either: motorway service stations. Yes, their meals are shit and overpriced, yes, their coffee tastes like a microwaved puddle (maybe), but they are a godsend at times of full bladder and strangely compelling places, particularly at night when they're less busy. There's a sprinkling of people 'enjoying' a coffee or a burger, or reading a book, or having a laugh. We may be all strangers but for the time being we've got that shared experience of taking a break together in an almost island-like remote location in preparation for the next long drive ahead. Then, despite initially facing in the same direction, the bond gradually dies as motorway junctions come and go, forking us away to contrasting destinations sometimes hundreds of miles apart.

On the plus side, I consider myself very fortunate to live in London, a city where public transport takes precedence. On the one and only occasion I drove through central London during a regular working day, I was scared shitless, mostly because I was helping someone move house and that meant the back of my car - a modest Renault Clio - was stuffed with junk and I was forced to rely solely on my rear-view mirrors. And I had to perform the journey in two shifts...

Anyway, sorry for the digression but there was a point, being that every car journey has its various quirks, twists and unpredictabilities and as such I think the introduction of independent driving in the test is a really good idea and not the soft touch some in my class suggested.

For years I had a recurring dream (or probably nightmare) about having to retake my test, and who knows, it may become a reality if my health improves sufficiently enough to get back behind the wheel again. It wouldn't surprise me if measures were brought in for people like me, who have a long gap in between driving, to prove we still have the skills necessary for a licence. I passed my test before the theory exam came in, and with the introduction of the new section you could argue it would be like starting over. Should the situation arise, I just hope it doesn't take me a year and not far off a grand to do the business. But let's get me right first.